Feb. 18 ‘23

 I once took a surfing lesson. 

At that point, I hadn’t been exerecising, so my body had no physical strength whatsoever. 

I enjoyed the first couple of ripples, 

And I found in fascinating how saltwater reacted with our eyes. 

But as it got harder and harder, I fell behind. 

Here, my instinct was to give up. 

I was terrified of the waves. 

It wasn’t my first time swimming in the ocean - but it was only my 2nd time!

And my first time dind’t have any wave that felt this huge. 

I wanted to just sit on the beach for the rest of the session. 

That’s more me, anyway. With a good book, under the Bali sun.

But that was my rock bottom. 

Somehow, as soon as I gave myself permission to quit, I never used it. 

I didn’t have anything to prove, 

But I also didn’t have anything to lose. 

Weird, isn’t it? 

—

These days, 

This instinct to just let myself be overcome by the mighty wave is coming back. 

And I’m tryingt to not give in. To see this as a motivation and turn it into a goal instead. 

But maybe, 

Instead of trying to do it well and perfect, 

I should just let myself go and allow myself to play around. 

Make mistakes. Be imperfect.

Maybe it’ll take the presure off, and then I can actually do something.

Huh?

-*^^*-