Sunday, February 12, 2023

Feb. 12 '23

 Yesterday was not the one of the best days in my book. 


The day starts off fine, 

but as we come into the noon hours, 

I was just too tired to do anything. 


I was supposed to call around and gather some much needed information, but I couldn't do it. 

Instead, I lay down until the sun sets. 


Was that fear? Was that anxiety? 

Was that just my social battery in dire need of recharging after days of socializing? 


I think it's a combination of all that. 

Plus, the thought that on the next day (today), I would have to go and meet more people,

who and how I didn't know. 



Most mornings, 

when I sit down to start a Zoom meeting, 

I feel my tongue literally not wanting to move. 


Some days, 

instead of getting ready, 

I spend that extra time lying in bed, just weighting and re-weighting if getting up is worth it. 

Calculating time, to spend as little out there as possible. 



I don't know why. I mean, I sort of know. 

I just want to fly under the radar, be invisible, and only talk when I know I will be listened to. 

I hate confrontation, and speaking up, and not having things in my control. 



The goal is to have more good days than bad days. 


-*^^*-

No comments:

Post a Comment