Yesterday was not the one of the best days in my book.
The day starts off fine,
but as we come into the noon hours,
I was just too tired to do anything.
I was supposed to call around and gather some much needed information, but I couldn't do it.
Instead, I lay down until the sun sets.
Was that fear? Was that anxiety?
Was that just my social battery in dire need of recharging after days of socializing?
I think it's a combination of all that.
Plus, the thought that on the next day (today), I would have to go and meet more people,
who and how I didn't know.
Most mornings,
when I sit down to start a Zoom meeting,
I feel my tongue literally not wanting to move.
Some days,
instead of getting ready,
I spend that extra time lying in bed, just weighting and re-weighting if getting up is worth it.
Calculating time, to spend as little out there as possible.
I don't know why. I mean, I sort of know.
I just want to fly under the radar, be invisible, and only talk when I know I will be listened to.
I hate confrontation, and speaking up, and not having things in my control.
The goal is to have more good days than bad days.
-*^^*-
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